Close to the End
by monochromed
Summary: To fall in love is such a quick thing to do but to forget a love requires what seems like a lifetime. How can she hate him when just hearing his voice on the telephone, she already has forgiven him?


**Author's blabbering: **Hmm… What to say… What to say… Ah, yes! This fic is actually the start of my one-shot collection which I'll be calling the Telephone Collection. Actually, I've been working on one-shots for the meantime while I couldn't get inspirations for my other fics. But don't worry, they're all almost done. Just a few more tweaking here and there… I blame my course for giving me too much paperwork!

Anyway, this fic is dedicated to my friend and course-mate, Sai-chan! It's her über-late birthday present. I've actually given her a copy already but I thought that I should post it as well in my account. Ah, well… It's another angst-filled fic so bear with it. I was feeling emo when I was listening to Mojofly and writing this!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own CCS or its characters as well as the song Close to the End. If I did, I'd be filthy rich by now, don't you think?

**Close to the End**

_You remind me of her and I see her in you. There was nothing more than that._

Those words kept ringing in her ears and there was nothing she could do to block it. He had said it to her crystal clear, his voice soft and calm as always with the barest hint of apology. His expression was blank, emotionless, but his dark eyes had betrayed him and she had seen the pain swirling in those depths. And for a split second, she had felt herself falter upon seeing those emotions in him but had quickly steadied herself, smiling at him ruefully and walking away.

She had always been strong. She had always overcome these difficulties with a smile on her face and laughter in her eyes. She had learned how to stand straight the hard way. She had never cried, perhaps because she had never learned how. So then why were warm tears now flowing down her cheeks, splashing heavily on her hands and lap like the rain outside?

She quickly wiped them away with the back of her hands, fighting hard not to sniff, not to make any sound at all. Why was she crying now? When she had lost her voice and could no longer sing for a short period of time, why hadn't she shed a single tear? When she had lost her precious cherry blossom to the proud Chinese lion, why hadn't she cried the tears of a thousand years of pain? Why now? Why with _him_, the boy who had given her light in the midst of the darkness all around her?

_It was perhaps his love for her that I felt when I saw you._

She had always known the pains of unrequited love? One-sided loves were her specialty, as she always had pointed out laughingly. She had never received the exact same love she had given from the people close to her heart. There was always something missing in them.

_The only person whom I loved and had loved me back equally was probably my mother,_ she had joked, giggling softly.

And even though she had never expected them to love her back, saying that she was already happy seeing them happy, there was a part in her that says she wanted to be loved as well.

Then he came back with that hand of his held out to her and that familiar smile on his face, asking her if she needed a hand. They were perfect for each other, as the people around them had remarked and those two years that they had been together were her happiest.

_She was the only woman my other half ever loved. Has anyone told you how much you resembled her?_

He had told her those words during that rainy morning on their way to Seijou and like the icy breeze that had washed over them, his words, just as cold and harsh, stabbed right in her heart.

That was perhaps the most painful words anyone could've told her and she really should be furious with him, frustrated and enraged. She had loved him and he had made her cry, the only person in the world who had been given that chance. Of all people, it just had to be him who would hurt her.

The love she had wanted, she had received, she had treasured, was actually a love meant for another person. Another person who looked just like her, who resembled her from their physical features to their nature. It was triggered by his other personality's memories and emotions. It was Fujitaka's love for his Nadeshiko.

It would never have been this painful if he had never loved her back, if he had never been so caring and gentle and loving towards her. It would never have been this painful if he had never given her the hope that someone indeed loved her back like she had loved them.

She wiped again the fresh tears that had ran down her face and got up from the window sill, leaving a handprint on the moist glass of her window. She smiled at the papers strewn all over her floor with the words _I never wanted to see him again_ and_ I'll never forgive him _written in bold black letters. A childish reaction, one she had always done when her emotions got to her.

Slowly, she picked them up, smiling amusedly as she read what she had written in her blind fury. And, folding each and every one of them, she sent them down her shredder. She could never be angry with him.

She turned around to look at her phone which had started ringing shrilly, startling her out her reverie. Clearing her throat and faking a cheerful disposition, she answered it.

"Tomoyo…"

She stiffened at the deep voice from the other line and the words she had written on the papers came back to her. Did she actually mean those words, that she never would want to see him again and never would forgive him? Could she actually muster enough courage to do all those things?

"Eriol-kun! How are you?"

She smiled bitterly to herself. How could she write those words, declare even, when just at the sound of his voice, she already had forgiven him for hurting her?

"Those words I had said this morning…"

She shook her head, clenching her free hand around the hem of her blouse. She fought against her tears and the pain inside her chest doubled.

"It doesn't matter now, does it? I understand what you meant. So I guess…" She swallowed hard, closing her eyes tightly. "We shouldn't see each other anymore. Well, I know that would be impossible since we go to the same school and class but still—"

"Tomoyo, you don't have to—"

"Please don't worry anymore, Eriol-kun, or else Sakura-chan and I will worry about you again."

She had always been good in convincing people that she was all right. She had been doing it since the beginning of time. Saying those words to him was no more different than saying them to Sakura or Syaoran or her mother.

"…I'm sorry."

She froze once more at his words and at his voice, deeper and more resonant than ever, and it was enough to send her defenses into oblivion and her entire system start malfunctioning again. The strength she had known had suddenly disappeared, leaving her weak-kneed and vulnerable again. Her hand tightened around her phone as she sat down on the edge of her bed once more, biting her lower lip hard until she tasted the metallic flavor of blood. Hiiragizawa Eriol always had that power to destroy all her defensive barriers around her heart. He had proven that to her more than once.

She felt more warm tears stung her lavender eyes and she smiled again, keeping her voice even and cheery as she spoke to him, the words _Don't go _lost forever in her mind.

"It's all right, Eriol-kun. I've already forgiven you. No need for apologies."

* * *

Reviews and constructive criticisms much appreciated. Flames, you can eat them or use them for roasting marshmallows. Seriously, what do you get from bashing other people's works aside from enemies? That wouldn't exactly make you better writers, would it? Only better losers… 

If this fic got deleted because of my final words, well, that just meant that someone guilty got affected by them. A true-blue loser then…


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